Effective listening skills are important in every aspect of life to be able to get your message across. Both at work, at home and in social situations, the ability to listen well is as important as to be able to present well. This also equally applies in leadership, management or a team member position.

Listening is important as this increases your understanding of the thoughts and motivation of the other person. Knowing what motivates the other person is key, so that you are able to present your message within that context, hence improving your effectiveness.

There are a few tips that will help significantly in improving listening skills.

1. Listen With Empathy

It is common for people to listen with intent to answer. There is nothing wrong with this as this is what discussions and conversations are about.

The ability to respond better in a discussion can be significantly improved by just adding a slight twist to this. Listen with intent to appreciate what the other person is saying from his or her point of view. For those few moments, do not focus on how you want to respond.

Having understood the other person's views, then respond with your views. Present it in a way that shows empathy to what you have just heard.

Empathy is defined as the identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings and motives in the American Heritage Dictionary.

This in no way means that you are accepting the other person's views and opinions. It just means that you have given due consideration to fully understand a possibly different point of view.

This is important, firstly, because you may not have fully understood a situation and can potentially draw an incorrect conclusion. By getting new information, you may change your mind on how you may respond.

Secondly, when the other party knows that you are listening to what is being said, this person will respond likewise when you speak. People appreciate you when they know that you give due attention to their opinions and views.

2. Ask The Right Questions

Asking the right questions has a much greater impact in getting people to open up in discussions and also for you to get a much better understanding of any situation.

Too often, people have a tendency to talk based on their understanding of the situation and what they think is best.

It is important to ask clarification questions first. In doing this, avoid asking questions that will result in "yes" or "no" answers. Start with broad based questions that will lead to descriptive answers. This will result in you getting information that you may not have thought of.

Asking pointed questions to get "yes" or "no" answers is best used when the other person is not giving a precise answer when one is required.

The other point to note in asking questions is to ask for clarifications when general statements are made. For example, if the person says that there are some issues to be handled, ask for the list of issues.

By asking the right questions, you also get the other person to think through and quite often, you will be pleasantly surprised that the other party will actually arrive at the same conclusion as you without you having to justify it.

3. Be Patient

Listening with empathy and asking the right questions are techniques whose value can be easily appreciated, but actually doing these are not easy. You need to tell yourself to patiently listen. To put it bluntly, tell yourself to "keep quiet" when the other person is talking.

It is much easier for most of us to just tell people what we think as soon as it comes to mind. Listening and holding on to what we want to say needs a lot of patience. This needs a conscious decision and effort.

4. Show Right Body Language

How often have you been in office discussions and meetings where someone is checking their email as you are talking with them? Or looking at their watch every few minutes.

Such body language reflects that you are not really interested in hearing out the other person. If you are busy, then set another time for the discussion, when you can pay attention.

During the discussion, you can slightly lean forward and maintain a comfortable eye contact with the person.

Where appropriate, taking notes is a good indicator that you consider the points being made as important. This also helps as sometimes it is difficult to remember all the points made.

5. Summarize

Summarizing a discussion is a good indicator of whether you have listened well. Its significance is that in the event you have incorrectly understood the points made, then summarizing to confirm understanding is a great technique to avoid disagreements as you present your point of view.

In a work environment, making notes is important to be able to summarize. If you have made the notes, then summarizing can be done fast and precisely. If not, you will ramble through based on what you remember of the conversation and will not be effective.

Take notes in point format, so that summarizing is easy. Another tip is that when you have your own thoughts on that point, make a note of that as well.

You need to do this because you will want to speak out your thoughts and ideas, but you are supposed to listen first. If you do not bring it up immediately, you might forget. Noting this down helps you to remember to bring it up later. By writing it, you also do not need to worry that you will forget the point.

If you have not been using the above techniques of effective listening, it will prove to be a little difficult when you start using them. However, when you use these techniques and realize that you are more effective in achieving your objectives in discussions and meetings, you will know that it is well worth your efforts.