It is within the collective human nature to want to find a lifelong mate. Once you think you have found them, you are filled with a sense of calm and happiness; it's in your DNA. However, the sad reality is that even the best of relationships can go wrong and end in a break up.

The good news is that not all ended relationships have to stay that way, some can be fixed. If you have gone through a break up and would like to get your ex back, then you will find the following tips to be useful.

Before you do anything else, you need to collect your thoughts and clear your mind if you really want your ex back. That's not saying that this will be easy to do, it won't be. But it's necessary to be able to look at things in an objective manner.

This can be difficult to do when all you can think about is your ex and how much you messed up, or how much you want them back. Do your best to get rid of those thoughts; to get rid of all the static. Doing this will make everything else that follows that much easier.

Another mistake a lot of people make when trying to patch things up is to make empty promises. Or, worse, not being themselves. They will do anything to get their ex back, including being phony or changing their principles and character to appease their ex.

Look, it's simple...your ex will need to love you for who you are. If they don't then you need to face the facts and move on. Don't be a piece of putty in their hands. Instead, be confident in who you are and they will come to appreciate your sense of dignity.

Changing things up is another good way to get your ex back. This is not the same as selling out. You were part of the reason that you two broke up. If neither of you do anything to change or grow, then getting back together will be a mistake.

You both need to work on improving things. However, you can only control what you do, so do your best to make whatever improvements you can. Your ex will notice, and may follow suit, leading to a better relationship than you had before.

Learn from the past, but don't dwell in it. Sometimes when people try to get back together, they like to pretend that nothing bad happened. They do this intentionally with the idea of starting with a perfectly clean slate.

While they mean well, this almost always leads to more problems than it solves. The better way to go about it is to be realistic. Admit bad things happened, apologizing if necessary, then do what you can to not repeat those mistakes.

Make a plan. Yes, you may want to just jump right into to patching things up. However, your chances of getting your ex back will be much higher if you have a plan for how you will go about. This will keep you on track and make the process of getting back together run smoothly and go faster.